Monday, December 14, 2009

Moving out of the old into the new

I am sitting quietly, alone, or perhaps is it the song that is keeping me company? Listening to “Suspicious minds”, for almost the first time since I last heard it on the day I moved into this house, I realise we all have suspicious minds- suspicious of others, of ourselves, of the future, of the past... Elvis passed, the song will stay forever, meaning different things to different people. I distinctly remember that day, the day I discovered the wonder of train sounds and rain tapping the windows. This house, will soon be a thing of past. This beautiful wonderful abode where I have shared countless memories with close ones, lived a pretty carefree life, set up home in Delhi... The eyes wet up thinking of the goodbyes to the walls, rooms, corridors. One has to let go of the old things in order to acquire new ones. There is seldom space in life for both.

I haven’t known in a while where I am headed- the direction is mapped out but the wheels keep taking me elsewhere. I don’t meet people I should be, I am not doing the work I should be and sometimes I think I am merely a shadow of my earlier self. Despite having shed the unsure life, the blinding lack of accountability and having accepted to take the baton of the one tie that binds one for life, I find myself in a sea of uncertainty. The only difference from all the previous times is that this time I am not in this alone. I have wonderful hand, holding mine and helping me grow into a better person.

Friday, December 04, 2009

The frame

Robert Evans: There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently

The mirroring image on the outside was picture perfect. No spots, no dust, no misgivings, no faults, no cracks... Her world seemed so content to the outsiders. No one knew that she wanted to scream out of her frame... She wanted to break the bondage of pain and self harm. No one ever understood her. No one ever will.

"'The only people who see the whole picture,' he murmured, 'are the ones who step out of the frame.'" — Salman Rushdie (The Ground Beneath Her Feet).