Friday, December 26, 2008

Tattered and lost

It’s generally our own we have a tough time impressing. They think we never do enough, or worse that we don’t even try. It’s the world outside of our protected/protective microcosm, which appreciates our sense of being or intellect in general. The microcosm survives on their collective efforts but the single cells never truly integrate. As critical as we all are of our families or closest friends, we love them, mostly to bits and never understand why they can’t just accept us for who we are, and accept our follies, shortcomings and our failure to live up to their expectations.

One drowns in thoughts everyday and yet comes out alive, sometimes bouncing sunshine off to others, sometimes deeply grey and different. I lose myself in my books, in my random scribbling, in my social life, in my thoughts. I lost my beloved 7 year old hand-made paper jute wrapped tattered notebook that I have written so frequently about. It’s like losing a limb, for the ardent scribbler in me who mostly doesn’t transform those hand-written notes into the fluidity of MS Word. I will have to find a new world of thoughts to drown in....

5 comments:

radio.protest said...

in this context, how alone is alone? how much of our self-imposed (or inflicted) isolation, the one that defines parameters of social interaction, friendship, affinity etc., is responsible for a lack of support system or a sense of unbelong? especially given that we dont get to choose our choices...

Arjun said...

very true.....
getting appreciated where it matters most... is also the toughest to achieve!

Rachita Bansal said...

i swear! :) long time arjun. i thought u forgot my blog!

zephyr said...

hopefully soon a new place will be found.. :)

reminds me of a green jute wrapped notebook I'd gifted someone special so that his thoughts found a place to live.. wonder if its pages are being filled...

Rachita Bansal said...

Zephyr: I was gifted a green jute book too, always thought it was too special to be written in. but the blue one was self bought and it was brown paper! brown hand made paper.. however, this post isn't about material losses :(